I Hate Chain E-mails

Of course, every once in a while you get one that just cracks you up:

You are my Friend

When you are sad,

I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard/bitch

who made you sad.

When you are blue,

I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile,

I'll know you finally got laid.

When you are scared,

I will rag you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried,

I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused,

I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick,

stay away from me until you're well again.

I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall,

I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath

I pledge 'till the end.

Why you ask?

Because you're my friend!

Send this poem to ten of your closest friends

(or else you will have bad luck )

and get depressed because you realize

you only have two friends