You are my Friend
When you are sad,
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard/bitch
who made you sad.
When you are blue,
I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile,
I'll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared,
I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried,
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused,
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
When you are sick,
stay away from me until you're well again.
I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall,
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath
I pledge 'till the end.
Why you ask?
Because you're my friend!
Send this poem to ten of your closest friends
(or else you will have bad luck )
and get depressed because you realize
you only have two friends
